Disclosure: I don’t know anything about zombies. I was once walking downtown, minding my own business, when I looked up and saw a group of zombies. I started looking around to make sure other people were seeing what I was, because HOLY HECK THERE IS A GROUP OF ZOMBIES ACROSS THE STREET!!! (Totally worthy of a caps attack.) I found out later in the day that it was the Zombie Walk, so no, I wasn’t going crazy. True story.
That being said, I am fully qualified to answer these zombie questions because I once ready Cell by Stephen King, which is basically about cell phone zombies. Oh! I also saw Zombieland.
1. Quick! Zombies are coming!! What do you do?
Pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming, then when I find out that I’m not, run away crying like a baby.
2. Whew, that was a close one. …I think your phone is ringing. Oh, it’s your best friend! She thinks she’s been bitten by a zombie. What advice do you give her?
I tell her to lock herself up in a room somewhere. No use going out and infecting others.
3. You realize it’s time to leave your current location because it’s clearly not safe anymore. Are you going to move at night or day? Defend your reasoning.
Move by night. That’s how the people did it in the book I read.
4. During your relocation, you come across a weapon superstore. My, that’s convenient. What kind of weaponry do you choose?
Anything that’s light and easy to carry. Maybe a gun.
5. As you leave, an old lady on the side of the street begs you to help her. Do you? Why or why not?
NO! She’s secretly a zombie!!
6. Good choice, you’re clearly a good person to have around in a zombie apocalypse. Oh hey, there’s a wifi signal here! You can’t stay long but this is your chance to gather some Intel on the current situation. What’s the first website you check?
Twitter. It’s where I get all of my news updates. You’d better believe that Twitter would be on fire during a zombie apocalypse.
7. SHH! What was that noise?!
It’s just another zombie. No big deal by now.
8. I think it’s time to get out of here. I hope you have a plan. Where are you going now?
I’m going to try and find my friends and family, to see if they’ve been turned into zombies.
9. Wait a minute, that looks like a bite mark on your arm… You may be infected too! Will you tell other people?
No way! Uninfected people might try to kill me. I’d only tell someone who I truly thought could help me out.
10. How does this story end?
Well, since I got bitten by a zombie, I clearly turned into one and took over the world.
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